Holmes Monsters Illustrated: Berserkers

Doug Kovacs - DCC #70

NO PRISONERS!

My personal image of berserkers will be forever be influenced by the ones +Evan Elkins killed one of my characters with in his Nightwick Abbey. I was one-shotted by one of these guys. They were wearing human skin skullcaps, and I think their "leather" armor was made of human skin as well. I learned that just because you're on level 1, charging in like a dummy is still charging in like a dummy.

Basically, berserkers are men who have been supernaturally corrupted by hanging out in the underworld way too long. They have become bloodthirsty leatherface-type guys who cannot speak or do much of anything except kill. Bright light, such as a torch or lantern held to the face, will usually stun them for a round if they can't make a save against stoning.

WHAT ARE THESE BERSERKERS YOU JUST STUMBLED ACROSS DOING? (if surprised)

1. Eating a person
2. Drinking blood from a skull
3. Sewing some armor/clothes from human skin
4. Sharpening bones into various stabbing implements
5. Mutilating themselves
6. Carving profane slogans into each others' backs and high-fiving each other
7. Smoking PCP and playing Grand Theft Auto
8. Having naked wrestling matches with a random dungeon monster from level 3.

WHAT DO THE BERSERKERS WEAR?

1. Miscellaneous heavy metal concert t-shirts
2. Naked, but body completely painted in blood; human skin masks
3. Daisy Dukes, mesh trucker caps and wife beaters
4. Jeans and jean jackets (i.e. "Canadian Tuxedo")
5. S&M leathers
6. GWAR gear

WHAT DO THEY WIELD?

1. lead pipes
2. spiked chains
3. clubs, coated in resin and rolled in broken glass
4. nothing. will charge and tackle opponents, headbutt, claw at eyes, bite faces, etc.
5. iron spikes
6. rusty glaives

WHAT HAPPENS IF THEY CRIT (19-20)?

Roll two exploding damage dice (d8s)

WHAT KINDS OF INCIDENTAL TREASURE CAN BE FOUND ON A BERSERKER?

1. 1d12 black metal coins of questionable worth
2. 2d20 teeth of various sorts (1 in 6 chance of a gold one)
3. eyepatch
4. 10' rope made of human hair
5. lump of soul coal
6. bits of metal suitable for body piercing (if santized)
7. a half-rotted eyeball
8. a pair of testacles
9. butterfly knife
10. spell scroll. 80% chance it has been used as toilet paper.